


University of Lies

by thepumpkineater



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepumpkineater/pseuds/thepumpkineater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian is in deep trouble the moment he opens his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sebastian is in deep trouble the moment he opens his mouth.

He's not a pathological liar all the time, at least that's what he tells himself, but he lies more often than not. He's perfected the art of lying about being sick to his parents, about simply 'forgetting' his homework to his teachers, lying to his new University friends about his many love affairs and past boyfriends.

This is currently why he's in trouble now. Sebastian blames Daniel, as always, Daniel is the perfect scapegoat, because Daniel had been teasing him about Sebastian failing to get a boyfriend in University, when he'd had so many at school before, and it just rubs Sebastian up the wrong way, the feeling of inadequacy.

“Actually I do have a boyfriend.” He says, and his group of friends turn to stare at him.

They're sitting all together in the living room of their shared flat, Sebastian squished between Daniel and Jenson on the creaky sofa, with Nico and Lewis sitting on the bean bag on the floor. The bean bag is actually the best seat in the living room and everyone constantly fights over it, which explains why Lewis and Nico are actually trying to subtly push each other off without anyone noticing.

Sebastian met Daniel on the first day of term, chatting idly to each other on the bus from the train station to the campus itself, and they'd been pleased to discover that they were in the same dorm together, having learnt they shared a love of stand up comedy and inappropriate jokes.

Jenson had come second, already in the flat when Daniel and Sebastian had burst in, Daniel telling a rude joke about a priest, a vicar, and the witch of the wastelands, and he'd just about to tell the punchline when they'd been a crash from the kitchen, and Jenson had appeared, hopping on one foot and swearing about a bowl that had decided it hated University life and had committed suicide by jumping off the counter and onto Jenson's toes.

Lewis and Nico were the last to arrive, standing awkwardly in the living room as they watched Daniel help bandage Jenson's toes with Sebastian hovering in the background, a bag full of broken glass in one hand.

“Welcome to the mad house.” Jenson had sighed, as dramatically as he could possibly be in that moment, and then they all burst into nervous hysterical laughter, that ended in firm friendship for all of them.

Sebastian shifts slightly on the sofa, feeling very sweaty all of a sudden. He's trying to think of anyone he can possibly pretend is his boyfriend, which is hard because all of his friends are in this one room, when Daniel speaks up again.

“You're kidding me.”

“Nope.” Sebastian shakes his head, still trying to frantically think, and then he suddenly remembers Kimi Raikkonen, the boy in his engineering class.

Kimi is a gift. Sebastian spends half of his time in class staring at Kimi's profile and the other half scribbling down notes that Kimi will ask to copy later, snapping his gum in his mouth and giving Sebastian a lazy smile that makes his stomach flip flop.

Kimi is blunt, and sarcastic, and he kicks the chair in front of him constantly, and falls asleep in lessons, and Sebastian knows that there's no way in hell that Kimi will ever agree to date him, but there's nobody else in the world he can think of.

“What's his name?” Lewis asks and Sebastian takes a deep breath

“Kimi. Kimi Raikkonen. He's in my engineering class.”

“The hot one?” Daniel says and everyone turns to look at him instead. “What, Seb never shuts up about him?!”

“Yeah, that's him.” Sebastian nods, thankful for everyone's gaze away from him. “He's really hot.”

“Gross.” Jenson replies and then looks slightly scared, “Please don't have sex in the living room.”

“I'm not going to!” Sebastian protests, “Anyway, it would probably break the couch.”

“And wouldn't that be fun to explain to the RA.” Daniel grins. “So when do we get to meet him?”

“Oh, soon hopefully. He doesn't like talking to people.” Sebastian shrugs

“I feel him.” Nico is studying a textbook for his communications class, still trying to ease Lewis off the bean bag with his toes. “In fact it would be wonderful if you would all shut up too.”

“You nerd.” Lewis ruffles Nico's hair and Nico bats him away, not dragging his eyes away from his textbook

“I want to go to Uni to learn things, unlike you lot.” He nods over at Sebastian, “You may want a hot boyfriend, but I want a hot job.”

Sebastian smiles weakly, glad that it's over, and prays that he can fix this as soon as possible, because he really doubts that Kimi will agree to pretending to be his _boyfriend_ for the indefinite future.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian walks into his engineering class with the attitude of someone approaching their executioner, and mentally groans when he sees Kimi sitting in their usual seats, early for once in his life. Sebastian was hoping he'd be late, give Sebastian a chance to come up with a plan, but of the course the universe is never that perfect and Sebastian slides into his seat beside him.

Kimi is doodling in his note taking pad, drawing little stick figures all over the place, and Sebastian tries to make out what he's trying to draw but gives up soon enough. Kimi ignores him, as usual, so Sebastian coughs politely to get his attention.

"Hey, um, can I ask you something?"

"Ha?” Kimi looks up, almost surprised at Sebastian sitting next to him. “What?”

“Can I ask you something?” Sebastian repeats and Kimi drops the pen onto his paper and nods

“Sure.” He looks at Sebastian expectantly, and Sebastian takes a deep breath

"Um, okay it's going to sound really really stupid, but I told my friends that you're my boyfriend to impress them but they don't believe me and want proof but I've really taken this whole thing too far and could you like please pretend to be my boyfriend for like just a week?"

Kimi just stares at Sebastian for an almost full minute, Sebastian staring straight back at him, biting his lip and then Kimi shrugs, "Sure."

"You... really?" Sebastian splutters and Kimi shrugs

"Yeah. Will I be staying at your place?"

"Um,” Sebastian thinks of his cramped shared flat, and figures that Kimi could probably sleep on his floor, or his bed. Boyfriends would probably sleep in each other's beds. “I guess so?"

"Do I get free food?" Kimi continues his line of questioning and Sebastian thinks for a moment. Normally Jenson or Lewis cook huge meals at the beginning of the week and they pick at the leftovers, or if Nico isn't studying then he'll cook them something and complain that they never have the right ingredients, but mainly Sebastian ends up in McDonalds with Daniel.

"Yeah, if you don't mind occasionally paying for fast food once in a while?”

Kimi nods again, "I'm in."

"Wait- wait." Sebastian shakes his head, "You won't even date the girls in our class and they'll happily have sex with you, why are you agreeing to me?"

Sebastian's seen the way the girls in their class look at Kimi, and to be honest, Sebastian is often looking at Kimi like that too, but seriously, Kimi shouldn't be agreeing to this.

Kimi is quiet for a moment and then speaks. "I need to get a job."

"Amazing, that still doesn't mean-"

"And I need 'social skills', or whatever." Kimi uses his fingers as quotation marks. "This will look good when they review me, I have a boyfriend who is not about to flunk out, someone smart, dependable, who actually wants to learn."

"Oh." Sebastian thinks that through for a moment and then offers his hand. "Congratulations on being my boyfriend."

Kimi sighs and shakes Sebastian's hand. "Sure, whatever."

"Are you free after class?" Sebastian asks, barely believing his luck

"Yep." Kimi nods and Sebastian smiles hopefully

"Will you come with me to meet my friends?"

"Ugh." Kimi pulls a face. “Human contact.”

“I'm human and we're having contact.”

“You're my “boyfriend”.” Kimi uses those stupid quotation marks with his fingers again and Sebastian totally doesn't find that cute.

"You're the one who said he needs social skills." He reminds him and Kimi exhales hard.

"Fine."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian waits for Kimi after the class has finished, watching Kimi slowly pack away his notepad into his backpack and sling it over his shoulder casually.

“You know, you'd get better grades if you actually made notes in class, I always worry that I don't pick up enough information, and if you made notes then we could combine them.” Sebastian babbles as they leave the room and Kimi makes a noise

“I find it trouble to write.” He says and Sebastian looks at him

“Have you tried-”

“I'm dyslexic.” Kimi interrupts, “I can't write that fast, and you write really clearly, you have big handwriting so it helps.”

“Oh.” Sebastian says, “So you just read over my notes when you get back home?”

“I scan them.” Kimi replies, looking a little uncomfortable with the conversation. “And put them on different coloured paper so I can read them, and then I learn. Tah dah.”

Sebastian has never known anyone say “tah dah” in a flat, monotone voice before. “Well feel free to ask for my notes any time.”

“I will.”

They walk to the cafeteria in silence, Sebastian fiddling with a piece of paper he found in his pocket, and Kimi simply following after him. Sebastian spots Jenson and Daniel sitting together in the corner, having a loud conversation about what sounds like the moon landings conspiracy, and taps Kimi on the arm.

“Those are my friends over there.”

“You have two friends?” Kimi asks and Sebastian looks indignantly up at Kimi to find he's smirking. “I'm kidding Seb.”

“I can't tell.” Sebastian complains, starting to lead Kimi over to them, and Kimi follows willingly

“That's my secret Seb, I'm always kidding.”

“The Hulk, you're hilarious.” Sebastian sits down heavily next to Daniel and Kimi takes the seat next to him.

"Guys, this is Kimi, le boyfriend." Sebastian says smugly, and they stop mid conversation to stare at him.

“Le boyfriend?” Jenson asks, “Did you escape from reddit?”

“Oh shut up.” Sebastian waves a hand and places it on Kimi's arm, squeezing. “This is Kimi, my boyfriend.”

"Hi." Kimi says and snaps his gum.

"Hello." Daniel looks him up and down, and then breaks into an easy smile. “I'm Daniel, and this is Jenson. It's nice to meet you.”

“Very nice.” Jenson says, running his eyes over him. Kimi is silent, looking faintly amused at the whole thing, and Jenson and Daniel turn to Sebastian for help.

"He's just quiet." Sebastian answers for him, opening his mouth to say something else when Kimi interrupts

"Yeah, but only in public." Kimi says, and leans against Sebastian briefly. "Seb can tell you more later."

Sebastian stares at him, eyes wide, and then laughs nervously. "Yeah, uh, sure."

Jenson and Daniel start grinning at the exact same time, which actually looks quite scary, and Sebastian fights away his blush. “So, uh, what's up with you?”

“Daniel thinks the moon landings are fake.” Jenson says and Daniel makes a whining noise

“No I don't! I was just saying that it's really weird how the flag waves on the moon when there's no air, and there's like two different light sources!”

Sebastian turns to Kimi, “Sorry, this is what it's like every day.”

“I don't mind.” Kimi replies, and Daniel turns to him

“What do you think?”

Kimi shrugs, “They had a good reason to fake it. Russians being dicks.”

“Oh yeah, you're Finnish.” Jenson nods his head, “You hate the Russians.”

“I hate everyone.” Kimi replies and Sebastian speaks up

“Even me?”

“You're an exception.” Kimi says and pats Sebastian's arm. “You're special.”

“PDA much?” Daniel whispers and Sebastian prays that Kimi didn't hear, but Kimi slides an arm around Sebastian and leans in close

"Do you want to have lunch here, or do you want to go back to your dorm?" He asks, breath tickling Sebastian's ear, and Sebastian shivers.

"Dorm." Sebastian replies and Kimi presses a kiss to his earlobe that makes him squeak, much to the delight and horror of Jenson and Daniel

“Please leave.” Jenson looks disgusted, “I want to actually keep down my lunch today.”

“Remember the couch is off limits!” Daniel says happily and Jenson groans

“Images, images!” He complains and Sebastian stands up quickly

“I'll see you tonight!” He says and Jenson makes a shooing motion

“Go, go. I can't handle it anymore.” He complains, and Kimi takes hold of Sebastian's hand and leads him away.

 


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh my god, you are so embarrassing." Sebastian asks as they start walking, "I wanted to show you off to my friends and you made it so awkward, I'm going to be having cringe attacks until I die."

"Relax, dork." Kimi playfully pushes Sebastian, "It's a fake relationship, we're allowed to have fun. I'd introduce you to my friends but they'd steal your innocence.”

“I'm not innocent.” Sebastian replies and Kimi nods his head

“Of course you're not.”

“I'm not!” Sebastian complains and Kimi just smirks.

“So who else do I get the pleasure of meeting?”

“Well that was Daniel, my best friend here, and Jenson, he's really nice when he's not being grossed out by us being touchy-feely, and there's also Nico, he's super smart, and Lewis, who is really funny.”

“You have an odd friendship group.” Kimi comments and Sebastian shrugs

“I like them. They're nice and they make me laugh and they care about me. What about your friends?”

Kimi snaps his gum, thinking hard, “I don't think we really care. We go out a lot, to parties, I guess, and we laugh at how stupid we are.”

“I wouldn't like that kind of friendship.” Sebastian says and Kimi nods

“Most people don't. But it suits me, so hey.”

Sebastian smiles awkwardly and then leads Kimi into the dorm block, pausing to swipe his card. “Lift or stairs?”

“Lift.” Kimi replies, “I can't be bothered to walk.”

“You can't be bothered to do most things.” Sebastian says, pressing the button for the lift and Kimi makes a soft snorting noise

“The boyfriend knows me so well already, we're practically married.”

“Oh shut up.”

Sebastian lets them into the flat and takes Kimi's rucksack from him, running to his bedroom to dump the bags onto the floor, and then runs back, a little afraid of leaving Kimi by himself. Luckily Kimi hasn't decided to torch the place and is sitting on the sofa, checking his phone.

“Hey.” Sebastian says, pausing in the doorway and Kimi switches off his phone and looks up

“Hey. I have a question.”

“Um, fire away?” Sebastian moves to sit down on the other end of the sofa, and looks at Kimi.

"So, how far are we taking this whole fake boyfriend thing?" Kimi asks.

"What do you mean?" Sebastian frowns

"I mean, physically, am I going to have to fuck you?"

Sebastian chokes, "No! God no."

"Shame." Kimi comments dryly and Sebastian doesn't bother to ask if he's joking, he knows he is

"I suppose we'd have to kiss now and again." He says awkwardly, "We need to be as convincing as possible."

"Fine with me." Kimi replies, shifting closer to Sebastian, “Come here, I need to practise with you.”

"Uh." Sebastian says, averting his eyes "How do we want to do this, should I get some mints or-"

Kimi leans across and kisses his mouth hard, and then pulls back. "It's a kiss. Act natural."

"I don't-"

Kimi kisses him again, this time resting the palm of his hand on Sebastian's cheek, and then pulls away. "Kiss me like you want to fuck me."

Sebastian nods, a little dizzy, "Okay," He says, and collides their mouths together again, Kimi making an appreciate noise

"Ew, god." Nico complains, interrupting them both, and Sebastian jumps back away from Kimi "Can you please not."

"Oh, hi." Sebastian blushes, "Nico this is my boyfriend, Kimi."

"Hey." Kimi says, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

"Oh, hi." Nico nods at him, "I've heard a lot."

"I'm sure you have." Kimi smirks and Sebastian elbows his side

"I introduced him to Dan and Jenson earlier."

"Yeah sorry I couldn't make it, I had coursework." Nico sighs and then stretches, his back clicking

"What course you doing?" Kimi asks and Nico throws his bag onto the floor

"Doing translations for Finnish/English communications. You're Finnish, right?"

"Right." Kimi replies, running his fingers up and down Sebastian's arm and Sebastian shivers

"I'm half, so it's a little tricky, but you know, you get by. Sebastian's good at Finnish too, though I expect you already know that."

"Oh really?" Kimi asks, and then innocently follows up with, "We should experiment later"

Nico rolls his eyes and mutters something in Finnish as he leaves and Kimi laughs, although Sebastian didn't get it.

"What did he say?" Sebastian asks and Kimi sticks out his tongue

"Nothing."

"Kimi!" Sebastian exclaims and Kimi laughs

"Nothing!" Kimi grins, "You got ice cream?"

"Freezer in the kitchen." Sebastian says, and then realises he doesn't know where that is. “Uh, it's by the fridge, it's kind of stiff to open?”

"Cool."

Kimi gets up, the sofa creaking dangerously, and Sebastian takes out his own phone while he waits, rolling his eyes at a text from Daniel to use protection, and jumps when Kimi sits down heavily next to him.

“This sofa makes weird noises.”

“Yeah, it's on it's last legs, sorry.” Sebastian apologies and Kimi looks at him

“Why are you apologising for a sofa?”

“I don't know?” Sebastian replies and Kimi laughs at him. "Do you want to watch a movie?" Sebastian asks and Kimi nods

"Sure. Here, or in your bedroom, I have a Netflix password you can use?"

"Bedroom. Not for anything, I just want to relax." Sebastian says and Kimi nudges him

"I'm not going to jump you. Unless you want me to." He grins and Sebastian shakes his head quickly.

"I don't!" He says and Kimi laughs, poking him with his foot.

“You're such a dork.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dating Kimi is fun. Well, not “dating”, because they're definitely not dating, they're friends who occasionally kiss in front of other people and say that they're boyfriends. They hang out together a lot, at Sebastian's dorm where Sebastian teaches Kimi how to take notes, at Kimi's cramped flat where Kimi teaches Sebastian how to play darts, and at random other locations where they teach each other how to be friends.

“I'm going to teach you how to take snuff.” Kimi says one day, and Sebastian stops from where he's playing Animal Crossing on his Nintendo.

“Snuff?” He asks and Kimi nods, fumbling in his pocket for a container that looks like a flat disk.

“Yeah. It's like tobacco all ground up and you inhale it through your nose.”

“Sounds lovely.” Sebastian comments, “I can't wait to snort cigarettes.”

Kimi laughs sarcastically and unscrews the lid. “You want some?”

“I swear snuff was last used in the Victorian era or something, why are you taking it?” Sebastian asks, sitting upright.

“It's a big thing now.” Kimi shrugs, “In Finland at least. All the cool kids are snorting it.”

“And are you a cool kid?” Sebastian teases and Kimi smirks

“Of course I am. Now here, give me your hand.”

“I don't want to.” Sebastian replies, “I don't want to snort anything.”

“It's not really snorting, it's sniffing.” Kimi taps some snuff onto the back of his own hand, “You have to keep it at the front of your nose, then you get the smell and stuff.”

“I don't care what I'm doing with it, I don't want any.” Sebastian edges away from Kimi, and Kimi shuffles after him, “No!”

“It's fun, you have to.” Kimi tries to offer the tin to Sebastian, “Come on, once.”

“Kimi I don't want to!”

The door suddenly flings open and Daniel is standing there, looking slightly out of breath. “What's going on?” He demands and Sebastian and Kimi both turn to him, slightly shocked

“N-nothing.” Sebastian replies, saving his game on the DS. “We're just arguing.”

“Yeah?” Daniel is looking straight at Kimi, “He's saying no to whatever you wanted to do.”

Kimi is silent, and Sebastian realises how what he was yelling could have been taken out of context, and he finds he can't look at the both of them.

“I was asking him to try snuff.” Kimi says finally, and Daniel leans against the door frame

“Oh yeah? And did Sebastian want to?”

“No.” Kimi replies, and Daniel nods

“So leave him alone then.”

“I will.” Kimi says, placing the tin back into his shorts pocket, and brushing away the snuff on the back of his hand. “Don't worry.”

“Good” Daniel says in the sharpest tone that Sebastian has ever heard him say, and leaves the room.

Sebastian waits for a moment before speaking, “I didn't mean to yell.”

“It's okay.” Kimi replies, settling back against the bed with his back against the wall

“Are you mad at me?” Sebastian asks and Kimi shakes his head

“Of course not you idiot. Carry on playing your weird game, I like watching you.”

“Okay.” Sebastian says, and starts playing again.

 


	6. Chapter 6

A couple of days later, they're lying on Sebastian's bed watching some TV series about police officers when someone knocks on Sebastian's door and Kimi suddenly turns Sebastian's head around to kiss him.

"Fucking hell." Lewis cringes as he opens the door, "Jesus Christ, I think I liked it better when Kimi didn't exist."

Sebastian pushes Kimi off him, wiping his mouth, which doesn't go unnoticed. "Sorry, uh, can I help you?"

"I wanted to borrow your notes for class?" Lewis asks, “Mine have vanished. I suspect demons or Nico sleepwalking.”

“Should I be worried about the sleepwalking?” Kimi asks, and Lewis shrugs

“Nah. Mainly he just walks around the house and then comes back to bed after a while.”

"Let me get you the notes." Sebastian grabs them from his backpack and gives them to Lewis, who gives him a thumbs up.

"Thanks Seb. Word of advice?”

“What?” Sebastian asks, frowning, and Lewis taps the door

“Please put a warning on the door handle next time or something, I don't want to see Kimi's tongue down your throat."

Lewis closes the door and Sebastian looks at Kimi, "Would you please stop kissing me around people?"

"What? You said we needed to be convincing?" Kimi lifts up his hands in protest and Sebastian sighs, flopping down onto the bed

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you need to stick your tongue down my throat any time any time one of my friends come to the door"

"You have no idea how a boyfriend works, do you?" Kimi says and Sebastian blushes

"Well no, do you?" He asks

"Yeah." Kimi replies and Sebastian sits up.

"You've had a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. More than one." Kimi is about to count them out on his fingers but then decides against it when Sebastian sighs heavily

"But-" Sebastian starts and then lays back down. "Never mind."

"What is it? You never had a boyfriend?"

"Or a girlfriend, or a Valentines' or anything." Sebastian mumbles, not looking at Kimi. "My first relationship and it's fake."

Kimi is silent and then moves closer. "Hey, Sebastian."

"Please don't make a comment." Sebastian replies, looking down, and willing himself not to start crying all over the place like an idiot, “I don't want you to make a stupid comment.”

"I wasn't going to.” Kimi promises, “Tomorrow, do you want to go bowling with me?"

"Why?" Sebastian looks up at him and Kimi gives him the tiniest of smiles

"Because real couples go on dates. And I want you to get out of the dorm and the college and have fun. So deal?" Kimi asks, and Sebastian nods

"Deal."

 


	7. Chapter 7

"I am so shit at this." Sebastian mutters as another bowling ball slides into the gutter.

"Here." Kimi hands him another ball and steps up behind Sebastian, taking his arm in his, "It all about the swing, you need to swing back and put force in it, focus on where you're aiming."

"Um..." Sebastian is more focused on how Kimi is pressed up against him.

"Go on, try it." Kimi says softly into Sebastian's ear, making him shiver

Sebastian swings and lets go and the ball rolls down in a perfect line and knocks all the pins down, "Oh my god! I did it!" Sebastian exclaims, jumping up and down, “I did it Kimi!”

"Well done!" Kimi grins at Sebastian

"Thank you!" Sebastian beams and suddenly pulls Kimi into a quick kiss.

"Um..." Kimi steps backwards, and Sebastian does the same, remembering himself

"Oh, sorry."

"It's alright.” Kimi coughs and then punches Sebastian's arm playfully, “I'm still whipping your ass though."

"Game isn't over yet." Sebastian replies, raising an eyebrow

They end up having a competitive game, ending only when Sebastian is about to take his strike and Kimi lifts him up in a surprise attack, Sebastian squealing and dropping the ball on the floor and letting Kimi spin him around and bury his face in Sebastian's neck

"You lose!" Kimi grins and Sebastian bats him away, laughing

"You cheated!"

"Oh yeah?" Kimi sticks out his tongue, "You gonna go to the front desk and complain?"

"Oh fuck you!" Sebastian is giggling so much and doesn't even mind when Kimi pulls him in for a kiss, even kissing Kimi back a little, and smiles at Kimi when he pulls away

"Come on, let's go get chips or something, I'm starving." Kimi pats Sebastian's arm

"Can we share?" Sebastian asks and Kimi nods

"Sure. I bet I can eat more than you though"

"You are the worst!" Sebastian complains, happily following after him.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Get your coat.” Kimi says the minute that their engineering class has finished.

“Oh you're so romantic.” Sebastian replies, slipping on his jacket. “It's like dating a caveman.”

“Oh you're hilarious.” Kimi rolls his eyes, shoving his marked essay back into his backpack that Sebastian is pleased to see that he got an A for. Studying is going well for them, Kimi is a quick learner and he makes Sebastian laugh with the weird ways he remembers facts, jumping up and down on the bed as he recites statistics.

“Are you taking me out?” Sebastian asks hopefully and Kimi nods

“I have tickets for the cinema. They're showing Life of Brian.”

“Are you serious?!” Sebastian breaks into a huge smile, “Oh my god, you actually booked tickets for the film?”

“Well you're always going on about how much you like it-”

“I love you.” Sebastian says very seriously, and moves to kiss his cheek. “You're amazing.”

“Shut up.” Kimi is blushing slightly and Sebastian finds it kind of adorable

The film is amazing, Sebastian quotes the movie throughout, along with the rest of the audience, and he can feel Kimi's eyes on him whenever he gets particularly giggly over a line. When he looks over to smile at Kimi, Kimi ducks his head, staring down at his popcorn, and Sebastian ends up smiling over how silly Kimi is.

They stuff an entire extra large order of cheesy nachos between them for dinner, and arrive back at the dorm giggling and kissing between giggles when they realise there's no one there,.

"Oh shit yeah, the student union is having a fund-raiser thing on tonight, they all went to that." Sebastian says as he looks at the empty living room, and Kimi hums

"So we have the place to ourselves?"

"I guess so." Sebastian shrugs and realises Kimi's arms are still around his waist, "Um..."

"Oh." Kimi lets go and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Netflix?" Sebastian suggests and Kimi nods

"Sure."

They end up watching some comedy movie, Sebastian giggling behind his hands because he doesn't want to annoy Kimi, but then Kimi laughs at some stupid dick joke that's made with the actual most ridiculous laugh ever.

"That is the weirdest fucking sound I've ever heard." Sebastian says, and Kimi looks a little embarrassed

"Shut up Vettel" He says, and then laughs at another joke that's made, which makes Sebastian laugh at his laugh, and he ends up snorting

"Oh god." Sebastian flops back against the bed and Kimi bursts into hysterical giggles, smothering Sebastian with a pillow

"You actually snorted!"

"Shut up Kimi, stop being so mean!" Sebastian tries to fight him off and fails, Kimi grinning at him with glee as he presses the pillow into his face

"Never!"

Kimi ends up on top of Sebastian, pinning him down with his thighs and beating Sebastian with a pillow which makes Sebastian's hair all messy and it sticks up. Sebastian keeps trying to push Kimi off by shoving at his chest, which mainly turns to awkward groping as Sebastian scrabbles to hold onto something that isn't Kimi's man boobs. When they finally calm down from hysterically trying to kill one another, Sebastian glances down at where his crotch is touching Kimi's and then back up to Kimi's face, "There's no one here."

"What are you suggesting?" Kimi asks, not moving one bit

"I’m saying we don't have to pretend to be together when there's no one here..."

"I’m not pretending..." Kimi says quietly and then leans down to kiss Sebastian before he can say anything. Sebastian leans up and kisses him back, and tries to ignore the fizzling in his stomach, telling himself that this is nothing, it's just because he's lonely, he doesn't like Kimi, Kimi is his fake boyfriend.

Sebastian drops his head back against the pillow. "I'm-"

“Shush Seb.” Kimi tugs at Sebastian's bottom lip with his teeth, teasing him, and Sebastian opens his mouth to speak and Kimi takes the opportunity to slide his tongue inside Sebastian's mouth and Sebastian gasps

“Kimi-”

"Don't talk." Kimi says, kissing him again, "It's okay, don't talk."

"I'm not talking." Sebastian whispers, letting Kimi kiss at his neck, and god it feels so good, the feeling of being wanted, "But we can't"

"Why not?" Kimi asks, beginning to slowly suck a bruise and Sebastian looks down at him to see his eyes shut, gently sucking at the skin, and Sebastian says the first thing that comes into his mind.

"We're fake. I don't want you."

Kimi stops abruptly. "You don't want me?"

Sebastian realises exactly what he said "Oh Kimi, not like that-"

"I understand." Kimi sits up and moves away "I'm just for your stupid sexuality exploration."

"No Kimi I didn't mean it like that I-"

"Well what other way could you possibly mean it?” Kimi asks sarcastically, and climbs off the bed. “Forget it this is my fault, I've gotten too involved and read it all wrong. You're a good actor Sebastian." Kimi leans down to pull on his shoes.

"Kimi wait."

"Well consider us fake broken up then." Kimi slams the door on his way out.

Sebastian stares at the movie that's still playing, and then the indent on the bed where Kimi was laying, and starts sobbing, moving so his face is buried in the pillow that Kimi used last night and crying until he falls asleep.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Sebastian is woken up by a knock at his bedroom door and at first Sebastian thinks it's Kimi, and  lifts his head, all red eyes and snotty nose, but it's Jenson instead.

“Hey, we just got back.” He says, “You eaten?”

“Oh.” Sebastian struggles to sit up and Jenson stares at him

“Oh god, what happened? Where's Kimi, you want me to go call him? 

Sebastian wails at the gentleness of his tone "Kimi- Kimi- Kimi broke up w-with me!"

"Oh Sebastian" Jenson sighs and shuts the door behind him. "Do you need a hug?"

Sebastian nods and lifts up his arms like a child. “I'm sorry- I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to apologise for anything, you silly thing.” Jenson climbs onto the bed with Sebastian and holds him, "What happened Seb?"

"I'm such a fucking idiot, that's what happened."Sebastian sobs into Jenson's neck, because Jenson is good for crying on, he's warm and he's caring and his voice is so nice

"Tell me?" Jenson asks, stroking Sebastian's hair

"I think he wanted to... and I just, I said the fucking wrong thing and he left."

"It's okay, maybe he just doesn't understand? Are not like... ready or something or? You know that there's nothing wrong if you don't want to have sex, don't you?" Jenson asks quietly, and Sebastian realises how wrong this must seem, Sebastian sitting there on the bed with ruffled hair and swollen lips and a hickey blossoming on his neck.

"I just said the complete wrong thing and I don't know why,  I said I didn't want him." Sebastian shudders at the memory

"Oh..." Jenson continues petting Sebastian's hair and Sebastian wants to cry because Jenson shouldn't be so nice to him.

"I know I'm so stupid!" Sebastian exclaims, digging his fingers into his skin and Jenson pushes his hands away

"Just talk to him yeah? You made a mistake, you were just shocked?" Jenson suggests, “I  know, things happen so fast, and it's okay not to be ready.”

Sebastian just sniffles.

"It'll be okay darling alright, calm down." Jenson promises, and Sebastian makes another pathetic noise.

“Will you stay with me?” Sebastian asks and Jenson nods

“Of course I will. Let me just tell the others that I'm staying with you, okay?”

“Okay.” Sebastian replies, and moves so Jenson can climb off the bed and walk out of the room.

Sebastian lays down onto the bed, the tears starting up again as he thinks of Kimi's face, and the way he walked out of the room, and then the feeling of Kimi's hands on him, kissing his neck, and he shudders because he does not deserve Kimi's love. He can hear the quiet murmur of voices outside, and then the door opens again and Jenson steps into the room.

“Everyone wishes their love.” He says and Sebastian lets out a sob

Jenson instantly is back on the bed again, laying down next to him and rubbing his back, and telling him soothing, kind words. “It's okay darling.” He says again, and Sebastian snuggles into him.

Sebastian finally does calm down, blinking slowly and his breathing getting calmer, and Jenson stays in bed with him watching Netflix until Sebastian falls asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting on this, it really makes my day x


	10. Chapter 10

Kimi is already in class when Sebastian gets there, a little late, and he sits down next to him quietly.

“Hey.” He whispers and Kimi turns, looks him up and down, and then turns away.

Sebastian stares at him, and then reaches across to tap his shoulder, but Kimi slaps his hands away

“Don't fucking touch me.” He replies and Sebastian can feel the tears welling up again

“Okay.” He whispers, and turns back to his work.

Kimi ignores Sebastian the next day in class, and the next day, and the next, and Sebastian comes home and cries because he fucked up the best and only relationship he's ever had.

"Sebastian, you need to do something." Daniel says as Sebastian curls up in front of the sofa next to him, "Before I literally find Kimi and scream at him for breaking your heart"

"It hurts to see you like this." Lewis says, "Look at you, you're all pathetic and slightly damp."

"I loved him so much." Sebastian whispers and Daniel hugs him

"I know. Do you want a hit team sent out for him?"

Sebastian laughs just a little "I don't want to hurt him."

He looks around at all the pitying faces of his friends looking at him, "Um, guys, I need to tell you something. Kimi and I... we were never together in the first place."

"Um, what?" Jenson looks at Sebastian, "But...?"

"I did like him! I do, I really like him, I love him, but I made it all up. And I went too far and I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend to convince you guys I'm not a total loser."

"What the fuck Sebastian?" Lewis looks at Sebastian totally confused.

"I know! I'm so fucking stupid but, it was good, I got to be with him for a while but, I think he actually liked me back and he sort of admitted that and I don't know I panicked and said the wrong thing and now he hates me!"

There's silence for a moment and Sebastian wishes the sofa would swallow him up.

"Well, that's a fucked up situation." Nico comments.

"I know. I'm so god-damn stupid." Sebastian hiccups and Daniel speaks up

“So when you were saying no that one time?”

Everyone turns to look at Sebastian and he flushes. “He just wanted me to try some stupid snuff thing, I promise Daniel, that was it.”

“Snuff?” Nico asks, “He takes snuff? No wonder he doesn't have a boyfriend, snuff is disgusting.”

“I know?” Sebastian wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

“What about the night you broke up?” Jenson asks, “What happened?”

“We were, we were kissing.” Sebastian says slowly, “Well we were play fighting first, and then we ended up kissing, and then it started getting more- and I liked it but then I fucked it all up by telling him stupid things.”

"What did you even say?" Nico asks, leaning over to squeeze Sebastian's knee

"I said I didn't want him, I don't know I thought he was still pretending, testing me and just, I don't know!"

"You need to say sorry." Lewis says, "And grovel or something."

"Tell him how you really feel" Jenson suggests, "He obviously wanted you, just tell him you were scared"

"It's hard, he's ignoring me." Sebastian says, and Daniel nudges his foot

"Yeah, but you can do it. Yell at him, tell him you love him, be dramatic" He says, and Sebastian sniffs

"You think that will work?"

"Of course it will." Daniel gives him a smile, “Just tell him that you care about him and that you fucked up. He'll understand.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know a fic is going well when there are more comments than chapters. Thank you! x


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this, and an especially big thank you to everyone who commentated! x

Sebastian plucks up the courage to talk to Kimi a couple of days later. It's a free work day in class, so everyone is chatting idly and showing each other funny stuff on their phones, and Sebastian is trying to spot Kimi in the mass of people. He finally spots him sitting by the wall, his beanie pulled low over his face and earphones in, chewing away on his gum.

Sebastian sits down opposite him and smiles nervously. “Hey.”

Kimi completely ignores him, not even bothering to look up, and Sebastian feels something knot in his chest, but he continues anyway, writing a note and passing it across to him

“ _Can we please talk? :( “_

Kimi pulls out one earphone and looks at Sebastian, " _What?_ "

Sebastian takes a deep breath, "I fucked up okay, please listen to me."

Kimi looks him up and down and then raises his eyebrows "I don't want you anymore anyway, so I have no interest in whatever you have to say."

"You...oh..." Sebastian visibly sinks, "I'm sorry Kimi, I didn't mean to confuse you and mess you around. I really like you, and I enjoyed our time together. I just said the complete wrong thing and I don't know why I said it, and I hope you can forgive me. Oh, and I'm sorry if you don't get the job because of me, I behaved very selfishly."

Sebastian gets up and goes back to his seat a few rows down, trying not to cry because then everyone will fuss over him and he really just wants to do is work and pretend that his heart isn't breaking. He's drawing diagrams when a paper airplane lands on his desk and he opens it up,

_"Get back up here you fuckin dweeb."_

Sebastian looks back at Kimi in shock and Kimi beckons him with his finger to come back, rolling his eyes.

“What did you want?” Sebastian asks when he shuffles back over, and Kimi pushes up his beanie so Sebastian can see his face

“I got the job.”

“What?” Sebastian asks, and then he understands, “Oh! That's amazing, well done.”

Kimi looks nonchalant, “It was nothing. They kept seeing me on campus with you, they saw me socialising with your friends, they were happy.”

“Well done.” Sebastian repeats, just really glad that Kimi's talking to him, and Kimi nods his head

“Yeah, its good for me.”

Sebastian is still sitting in front of Kimi awkwardly, “So is that all you wanted to tell me?”

Kimi pauses at that, looking down at his work as if that holds the answers, and then looks back at Sebastian.

"I may have overreacted." Kimi sighs, "Ignoring you, and being a complete dick to you. I'm sorry too."

Sebastian feels like an entire weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and even though it's just an apology, it means the world to him, "Did you mean what you said? You don't want me anymore?"

"Pfff, no." Kimi leans back on his chair dangerously and Sebastian's stomach fizzes

"Really?"

"Yeah." Kimi shrugs, “I do actually kind of like you Sebby.”

Sebastian smiles at him "So, I have to ask you something?"

"Yeah?" Kimi asks, a smirk playing at his lips, and Sebastian takes a chance

"Will you be my boyfriend now? For real?"

Kimi nods his head, "I will, you utter idiot."

Sebastian leans over, hesitant, and kisses Kimi's mouth softly, just like Kimi taught him, and Kimi's hands slide into his hair, pulling him closer, and then they break apart, Kimi smiling at him with the most loving smile that Sebastian's ever seen.

"Hey there real-boyfriend." He whispers and Sebastian giggles

"Hey there totally not fake-boyfriend." He replies, and Kimi's fingers tangle in his hair to kiss him all over again.

 


End file.
